CASA CARA PARYS – RULES
A TONGUE-IN-CHEEK LOOK AT CASA CARA PARYS RULES AND REGULATIONS
We know it sounds bossy and we apologise in advance but if the rules are not complied to and we consider the circumstances so require, we reserve the right to deny admission or request that you leave the premises (just ignore the baseball bat.) Your accommodation fees will not be refunded (you pay a price for stupidity.) It’s rare but sometimes we use this rule as an excuse to kick you out just because you tell really bad jokes during load shedding!
GENERAL / ADMIN / RECEPTION: If it’s illegal outside Casa Cara please don’t bring it inside, no matter how cool you think “IT” is, I doubt we’ll agree! Reception is open between 08:00 and 17:00, thereafter you can reach us on our emergency numbers: 083 554 9204 or 072 9374078 (let’s try to avoid this at all costs, unless lives are at stake, they might be at stake if you call unnecessarily at 3:00 a.m.!) Booking is subject to a 50% deposit and the balance is to be paid in full on arrival, prior to occupation (and there go your plans of a hit-and-run!) Accounts may be settled by internet transfer, credit card, debit card or cash, we do not accept payment in kind no matter how good your “offer” is. Management reserves the right of admission and you have the right to choose between these options:
a.) you have no rights
b.) you have no admission
c.) let us reserve the right of admission, it’s kinda simple ain’t it?
Parys is a small, quiet, country town, it’s most probably the reason you and our other guests came here in the first place, let’s keep it that way! Therefore we ask that you please keep noise to a minimum unless you go skydiving with us then you can shout to your heart’s content!
CHECK-IN / CHECK-OUT: Check-in time is from 14:00 until 17:00 on the day of your booking – if you’ll be checking in late buy a better watch or please arrange with management in advance. This is Parys after all and we’re probably out skydiving, bungee jumping, river rafting – or skydiving into the river naked with Ninja masks and watermelons (but that’s a story for another day!) Check-out time is before 10:00 a.m. on the day of your departure, penalty fees will apply for late checkouts (skydiving is rather expensive if ever you wondered!) On check-out please advise us of any breakages… duh…! Or you could try faking that you “forgot,” but then you know that we know that you think we don’t know what you thought you knew about us knowing – see it’s just easier to just own up and pay the bill! Please remember to leave your room keys and gate remote with us when you leave. The last thing on earth you want to hear is me knocking on your front door at 1:00 a.m. to collect them! Just know that I play the Jaws soundtrack in the car all the way from Parys to your front door – you don’t want to go there just trust me on this!!! A charge of R 500 will be levied should you lose your remote & keys.
ROOM SERVICE AND OTHER EMERGENCIES: If you’re pregnant, you have all our sympathy! But if you have a craving for champagne and caviar at 3:00 a.m. please don’t call the emergency number as we’ll probably be packing our parachutes! Come to think of it, never call the emergency number, Parisians are just not geared for emergencies, we like gear though, especially skydiving and river rafting gear and we like talking, we really like talking, see what I mean? What was that about an emergency? Oh, and by the way room service is available, we might even have champagne and caviar on ice for you.
CHILDREN: Kids are sooooo cute and we love them to bits, we even make our own, but at times they can become a bit “highly-strung” (read – obsessive, loud, arrogant, ignorant, ill-mannered, misbehaved, ill-tempered to name but a few…) and they are therefore to be supervised by parents “at all times”. The definition of “at all times” is from the time you drive through the front gate until we kick you out because you weren’t paying attention to the term “at all times!”
PREMISES: Only paying guests are allowed on the premises. Please arrange with management should you wish to bring visitors onto the premises. Pets are not allowed, for those who want to argue, yes dogs are classified as pets, yes, even Yorkies and Toy Poms, even if they wear clothes and even if they fit inside your handbag and yes, even if they would “never ever” sleep on the bed and even if they can “talk” and yes even if they are “super clever AND potty trained…” – just Google it!
ROOMS: If you want to shoot someone please don’t do it in the room, we can suggest really good, quiet spots near the river! Drinking water from the taps should be fine in most cases, however it doesn’t taste great and why take the chance of becoming intimate with the loo for two days, Parys has much more to offer. Therefore we provide filtered water free of charge. Casa Cara takes no responsibility for the drinking water supplied by the Parys Municipality as it’s a hit and miss affair. Yes, we also think Keanu Reeves, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and their friends are cute, maybe even sexy for some but hey, that gives them no reason to shout at us after 22:00 so please show courtesy to your fellow guests and keep television and “other” noise volumes down after 22:00. We love our chandeliers, therefore, playing with kites, remote-controlled flying toys or helium balloons in your room is prohibited. No practicing of speeches or your version of a cat on a hot tin roof between 22:00 and 08:00.
SMOKING: Casa Cara is a smoke-free zone. Smoking is limited to your private courtyard or the outside entertainment area. If the above is unclear in any way, use this simple test, look up, if you can see the sky above you are allowed to smoke!
SELFIES: In Parys, we are not vain and therefore “selfies” are not tolerated in public, please take them in your room, and if you do please ensure you get the cool chandeliers in the picture!
SWIMMING POOL: The pool is at your disposal daily between 8:00 – 22:00. Children’s safety is the total responsibility of their accompanying adults. Nothing is allowed that starts with “hey guys watch this…!”
OUTSIDE ENTERTAINMENT AREA: The outside lapa/pool/entertainment area is available for rental between 08:00 and 22:00. Also available for rental is crockery, cutlery, glasses and cleaning services. Please discuss these options with management. Note that under no circumstances will functions be allowed to continue after 22:00. Alcoholic beverages ( consumed responsibly) are allowed. Music is NOT allowed.
DRESS: Dress appropriately when you are in the common areas or at least – JUST dress unless you’re going skydiving with the Ninjas.
BREAKFAST: Served in the dining room between 08:00 and 10:00. The first skydive is at 07:00 though, if you thus require a different timing for breakfast, please advise us on arrival and we will try our utmost to accommodate you. You may have to pay the chef over time and do your own dishes but then, hey… you also get to sleep in!
LIABILITY / THEFT / LOSS / DAMAGES / INJURY: This is Parys after all and personally we leave our keys in our cars and we sleep with open doors. However, that doesn’t mean you should! Rather be cautious and do not leave valuable items unattended in your room or visible in your car as we do not accept responsibility for any theft or loss. Guests make use of the facilities of Casa Cara entirely at their own risk. The management of Casa Cara its employees or representatives are not liable or responsible for any loss/injury/accident or damage to guests, their visitors or their property regardless of the circumstances. We have a local saying “Afrika is nie vir sussies nie” which roughly translated means – we (Africans) are a tough and resilient bunch and weak cry-babies should rather relocate to New Zealand (where they welcome sissies.) Therefore small things like theft (we call it re-appropriation) don’t phase us, so take your hits like a man! We also often say “man” when we kinda mean “??” I don’t actually know what we mean, it just makes sense to us. So that sentence should have read “… take your hits like a man, man” – but we know that would’ve just confused you! Smile man (see what I mean)… you don’t own all the problems in the world man (now I see you’re getting the hang of it man!) Man, we love our guests and we want to ensure their safety, security and maintain peace, order, and harmony in our guesthouse (do you know how many beauty pageants have been won with that line!) Therefore you shall not act irresponsibly, unsafe, offensive or practice illegal behavior. Guests will be held liable for all damages, breakages, shortages or losses caused by them.
ENVIRONMENTAL: Please switch off unnecessary lights. We LOVE water, that’s why we live next to the Vaal River but please turn taps off after use as we hate floods and water wastage. Please turn the air-conditioning off when the room doors or windows are open as it will be ineffective, waste electricity and freeze-up. We know it sounds very scientific and you might have slept in science class at school but it works on the same principle as keeping you fridge door closed at home – does that make sense? If you want to catch up, extra science classes are taught on Saturday mornings at the high school.
HONESTY: Please do not remove any goods from the room. Remember you didn’t buy the room, only the use of the room. Therefore the items in the room are to be used and not kept, a few examples are scatter-cushions, bedding, pillows, towels, baskets, air conditioners, soap dispensers, tiles, globes, carpets, tv’s, beds, lamps, plugs, trays, cups, teaspoons, satellite dishes etc.
CANCELLATION POLICY: Deposits will be refunded as per our refund policy below:
3-month cancellation 100%
2-month cancellation 80%
1-month cancellation 50%
1-week cancellation 20%
Less than a week 0%
LASTLY, AT LAST, OUR LAST RULE!!!!
You’ve come here to get away, to relax, to have a well-deserved break and some peace and quiet – we challenge you – Parys really is the place to do something you’ve never done before, be someone you’ve never been before, go for a walk next to the river, go for a hike, take that hot air balloon ride, go skydiving naked with the Ninja’s, have a blast, be happy, make sure you take in the breath-taking sunsets, forget the bad, remember the good and for a day or so, just… be…